Sunday, May 25, 2008

Going to Meeting.

Things never run smoothly in this house. I think it is the sheer numbers ~ all of whom are madly disorganized.

So Liddy tells me she would like to come to Meeting with me this week. Being me I don't check any of my details until Sunday morning & forgot the local meeting only meets once a month, which did actually happen to be today. However Liddy went out to check the crab pots with Dino thinking 2 hours would give her ample time to get home & changed & on a boat with me. Ditz, point blank, refused to come anywhere where people sat in silence for a whole hour! After an hour I thought Liddy was cutting it fine so organized me. No Liddy. I went to the shop & organized money. No Liddy. The hands of the clock crept inexorably closer to 9 o'clock. No Liddy. At ten to I bolted for the boat on my own. No Liddy.

Now it's not that I minded going on my own...well I did; I hate meeting new people without a child to use as a shield between me & them, but I'm not that big a woos. Really I'm not. However Dearest does like us to go as a tag team. He says there's safety in numbers & we use each other for discernment, which we do. I was supposed to have at least one child with me. I might have stayed home but having got ready & psyched I could feel the Spirit giving me the sort of nudge it's rather hard to ignore & we haven't been in church in over a month so I was feeling pretty desperate.

The local meeting is only a suburb or so away. Easy~peasy unless you are the sort of directionless wonder I am. I kept pulling over to check my map & still managed to take a turn too early before turning left when I should have gone right, all of which meant I didn't arrive on time & slid into a seat just as everyone was settling into their meditation. This works for me. I didn't have to run the gauntlet before worship & could face strangers under girded by communion with the Lord. Better yet, it was such a lovely day the seats had been set up outside & the silence was full of sunlight breezes & twittering birds.

It has been so long since I've been in meeting I thought I might be uncomfortable, have trouble stilling & settling into the silence but it was like coming home. My thoughts rattled round for a bit but honestly, for me, it is such a relief to not be bouncing up & down like a yo~yo, singing worship songs before I've gathered my thoughts, having prayers while my mind's still on singing, & finding communion with the Lord just as the offering is being gathered up. My wits get so scattered ~ & as another Quaker once commented, 'There's nothing wrong with the music; it's just it's not what I want to sing.'

And what I like about this form of worship & why I struggle so much in a regular sort of service is that I always feel so damnably rude, shouting at the Lord, telling Him this, begging Him for that, & never once stopping to ask if there's anything He'd like to say to us. In the silence God's still small voice can be heard. No, it wasn't earth shattering but I still needed to hear that He is Jehovah Jireh, my provider & his grace is sufficient for me. At least it was the song God wanted me singing in my heart.

The local meeting consisted of just 6 people, all older, but the main meeting has at least 30 members & 20 children on its books; big enough for a children's meeting, which will please Ditz. For Oz that's a decent sized church. The island churches get between 6 & 10 regulars at present; numbers always drop in winter. The Meeting House is set in an acre & a half of rainforest ~ rejuvenated by Quakers. Liddy is now very keen, especially as I said she can drive in! No one will be put out if she wanders out of meeting & paddles through the bush communing with God in her own way as she so often does at home. Now, don't freak mamaO, I have already been asked to speak & no, I did not put myself forward. Do I look insane? I was quietly minding my own business which was drinking coffee & nibbling bickies. As a newbie what did I know about anything?

Before heading home I went & found my singing cousin as I discovered she was just a few streets away. She is another Ditz so we were noisy & theatrical & happily caught up on all the family goss.

This is not a solution. Once a month & nothing for the children is more a band aid but it is better than nothing, which is what's been happening. I don't think any of us want to trot into town every week & it starts getting expensive so we will keep looking for something else as well. We don't have to stay with just one church & can alternate to give everyone a little of what they need for the time being. I hate having to do it & I loathe even more travelling; I do so much as it is, but I was blessed & for once I got to just sit quietly with my Lord, more Mary than Martha, which, we are told, is the better part. ~:}


MamaOlive said...

Not freaking. :-)

When I was a teen I would often get quite fed up with the forms at church, and would even leave the building to wander around the grounds by myself in the dark and sing and pray. Now I wish I had the time to get to that place alone with God.
But I do value cooperative worship as well. A crowded room of sincere worshipers, especially if they know how to sing, is so powerful. Though it's as hard to find as time alone.

Glad you got to meeting. We missed this week as Bob was at work.

Ganeida said...

Lol. I love to sing too but not being a great singer it gets wearing & some days I can't hit the notes no matter how hard I try & just shut up anyway. I think you have hit the nail on the head for me. My everyday life doesn't allow for much alone time & I do really value it. Cooperative silence is awesome.:)

kimba said...

Sounds lovely. Wish I could come.

Ganeida said...

Kimba, my love...There's room for you in the car if you want to come & we'll find somewhere for that wheelchair too!

kimba said...

Great, I am sure the girls will love being crowded in with the chair(you won't get it in the boot/trunk?).

Ganeida said...

Tie it to the roof, tow it along behind...Where there's a will there's a way! :D

Heidi said...

It all sounds very interesting. We have the chicken pox around here so I went to church on Wednesday night alone. It was lovely.