Ouch!

Some mornings start with a bang. There I was happily typing away being my usual facetious self when Ditz arrived all teary eyed & wobbly~voiced. Not how I like my days to start. The omens were not good. I sighed wondering what could have possibly gone wrong so early in her small world. *Like all the best surprises it was completely unexpected.*

Ditz had woken to her radio & the first news flash of the day but the news was not the usual dreary rehash of interest rises & profit margins. There had been a mid~air collision of 2 crop dusters in outback N.S.W, pretty close to where Mark went down. My brother's company. My SIL was at headquarters working when the news first came through. Small (very small) community, so yes, she knew the pilots, the property, & the owners of the property. My newphew is at school with the boys from the property. One pilot dead. One will make a full recovery but had no idea of what had hit him. Seems One pilot was leaving for another job while the other was finishing off a dusting job. Turned & banked right into the plane passing overhead!

Understandably Ditz lost it. Mark is a wound that has not healed cleanly. He was too good a pilot to have died in the pointless fashion he did & there are still too many unanswered questions as to the how & why. Ditz likes her world packaged & tied up with ribbon. She does not do well with open~ended questions, the what ifs & maybes & just don't knows of life.

Ditz's emotions are like a raw, quivering nerve. Dealing with her in that state is exhausting ~ & painful. Unfortunately I empathise, so the two of us were a puddling mess & only Christ can give Ditz the security she so desparatey craves. I guess he did because she recovered faster than I expected but the wound is still there, scabbed over but festering still. My boys might look like the spitting image of Mark but it is Ditz people compare him with. She has the same *Joi de vrie*, charm, & extroverted personality. They are both youngest children, noisy & indulged & both are musical. Like Ditz Mark had a good voice though his passion was for flying rather than music ~ & he adored my children, especially my girls. Not having a daughter himself he was very fond of his nieces & they knew it. It is not surprising they still miss him & in the normal course of events they still have many miles to travel before they too reach Heaven's gate.